Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Same old picture

I may never stop taking pictures like this, because the sight still brings me so much joy.  Seeing him sit calmly feels like a miracle, even though the days of chaos are far behind us.

All that frenzied desperation to move, and see, and do, and touch, and twirl, and break, and climb, and jump has transformed into a equally desperate thirst to know, and read, and understand, and relate, and compare, and express, and discover.

His intense emotions have transformed, too.  Those same feelings that used to overwhelm him now help him relate, feel compassion, empathize, and understand others.  He still feels deeply, because he is still intense.  But his diet (in addition to a few years of good-old-fashioned growing up) has made that intensity a positive attribute instead of one that will hold him back.

When I first started his diet, I didn't know what was "wrong" with M, but I had a hope that the diet would fix it.  It's so obvious now that the only thing that was ever wrong with him was what he was eating.  

His intense, curious nature as a toddler would have made him a handful no matter what he ate, but the out-of-control feelings and lack of impulse control he experienced because of his diet were a recipe for disaster- for all of us.

I wonder, sometimes, what life would be like if we had never found the connection between his troubles and his diet. His reactions are less severe now- maybe he would grow out if it eventually.

But I don't think he would have found the same love for books, and what a shame that would have been.

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