Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I see you, L.

I think, sometimes, of the boys as ten-year-olds, looking through old posts for stories and pictures of themselves.

It's what I would have done if my mom had a blog.  As a kid, I loved leafing through my baby book.  I still would, I'm sure, if it was around.  In fact, my family has a website we have all used to keep in touch almost daily for the last 15 years, and I do search through its hundreds of pages of history from time to time, just to soak in the forgotten moments and reread old stories.

L, when you read this you're going to notice something.  Some of your stories aren't here.  I'm sorry.  It's not because you're TSO.  Not entirely. I was The Second One, too.  I know what you're thinking.  I see you.  I do see you.  But you're not always so easy to write about.

Take when M learned to read.  I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.  My son can read!  Isn't life amazing?! I think I blogged about it that very night, so eager I was to share my joy with the world and to document that special moment forever.

But when you started sounding words out just a few months later, it felt different.  You were so young.  I told myself that having an older brother meant picking up things a little sooner.  Or that it was probably just that little spelling bee game we played in the car on long drives.  You weren't really reading at 2-1/2... you were just decoding.  It's different.

In the months that followed, I kept playing the same game.  You must've heard me reading that to M earlier.  You're just clicking that spot because the game is intuitive, you didn't really know what it said.  You probably recognize those words because you've seen them often.  My three year old is not reading.  I'm not that insufferable mom.

Today I thought of you reading through old posts, one day, looking for your special moment and never finding it. I'd rather be insufferable than make you wonder where your stories are.

So... I see you. I see you reading.  Today you read to me about rabbits and caterpillars. 

I'm sorry I didn't celebrate you here sometimes.  You are remarkable.  

Finally, since -last I figured- my blog has about five readers plus my mom, I'm not sure who I was worried about annoying, but I will keep seeing you.  


  1. I was over the moon when my daughter started reading too and my son is just one and half yet, I suppose he'll start reading soon too. You have beautiful children :) I just stumbled upon your blog and I thinks its awesome :D

    1. Aishaz, I guess my comment got lost. Thank you! I'll check out your blog, too.

  2. AW! I know when he reads through the blog one day, your love for him with shine through. Lucy asked me a few years ago, "Why are there almost no pictures of me around the house." You see, when Bobby was little, there weren't digital cameras. You developed film and then you'd have the prints. I frequently threw them in a frame and up on a bookshelf. For Lucy, I have a digital camera. I have a TON of pictures of her, but they are saved on folders on the computer...not sitting out on our bookshelves. But I was taking them!

    And, as one of your loyal readers, I can say that I *love* reading posts about all your little guys' accomplishments. Bring them on...as many as you want!! I can't wait!! --Lisa

    1. I feel you on the pictures! We never print ours out either! I keep thinking I will at some point but I think I just need to face facts.

      Thank you for always celebrating the boys with me :)