Thursday, June 13, 2013

Old papers

This afternoon sucked.

I don't know what started it- school was fine, the boys weren't acting any naughtier than usual, but all of a sudden I found myself in the kitchen barking orders and saying things like, "I can't keep this whole place clean by myself" and huffing to put groceries away like I was in an infomercial.  Poor M was with me and got quite the earful.

I hate when I catch myself right in the middle of acting like a jerk.  Because all the jerk feelings are still in effect and I want to ride them out and keep being mean to everyone, but the sensible side of my brain knows I'm being an idiot and I can't even enjoy it. 

I finished straightening up and decided to patch things up with M.  I was still feeling grumpy, but frankly you can only allow yourself so many minutes of meanness before you start getting sick of yourself.  We sat down together and folded a newspaper ship. 

L saw and raced over and of course he wanted a ship, too.  The jerk inside of me wasn't giving up without a fight.  I let out a long exhale before telling him to go and grab a piece of newspaper.   From the other room, L called out, "I can't find any newspaper, we only have old paper."  And just like that the jerk was gone.  Just gone.  I laughed and laughed, and I was back.

I made him a ship and we took them out to sail on our neighborhood pond.




 The boys and I watched those ships for over an hour.  There wasn't a bit of bickering for the rest of the night.  The boats drifted from one side of the pond to the other, and back again, and the sun went down, and we just kept standing there swatting mosquitoes and not being jerks.

I don't have a clever ending planned.  Sometimes you screw up and act like a jerk.  But it doesn't last forever.


11 comments:

  1. Oh Robin! I love this story! The fact that you were aware of it and trying to stop it makes it so sweet. And Lennon is so cute! Only old paper, hahah! I'm glad you were able to pull yourself out of your funk and not be a jerk :)

    I love these pictures, they look so peaceful.

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    1. Thanks, Tara. It was so genuinely peaceful and such a contrast to my earlier stressed mode.

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  2. "I hate when I catch myself right in the middle of acting like a jerk. Because all the jerk feelings are still in effect and I want to ride them out and keep being mean to everyone, but the sensible side of my brain knows I'm being an idiot and I can't even enjoy it." <---the curse of the self-aware/enlightened/smart mom! You are so awesome.

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  3. First of all...when you say you are making a paper ship, WOW, you mean it! They are AWESOME.

    Secondly "we only have old paper" is probably my favorite thing I've heard all week. Too adorable for words.

    Lastly...I love how you describe it when you're "being a jerk". I feel the same way. I know it,and then I can't even be fully immersed in the experience and "enjoy" it for what it is. That is *exactly* the way to describe it. Love when that feeling is just GONE like that! --Lisa

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    1. It's so easy! 7 steps! I will teach you- I will make my first ever tutorial just for you!

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    2. Yay!! My kids will look at me with new found respect if I could whip up one of those!

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  4. This story made my day! I might come back and read it if I ever feel like a jerk...or if I just need to smile :)
    Old paper....that makes so much sense.

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    1. I might come back to it when I'm being jerky again, too. :)

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  5. That's such a sweet story. It is so much easier to be a jerk sometimes, but it's a lot more fun when you're not!

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    1. Thanks Sarah :) I agree, it takes a bit of work to snap yourself out of it, but it's worth it! :)

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