Monday, January 14, 2013
I am sick of kids movies
After three weeks of Christmas vacation, I am a little sick of kids' movies. (Except Totoro. I will love you forever, Totoro.) I may or may not have told my son at one point today that what we were looking at was the end of western civilization as we know it.
But Whim is out, the kids are asleep, and I'm going to watch my favorite movie.
It has always been my favorite. It was my go-to movie in college, when I was bored, or sick, or wanted to fall asleep to something comfortable. The heroine is "one of the greatest and most complex characters ever written, not that you would know." But seriously, she is one of the most charming. And it's the movie from which, to this day, quotes can come tumbling out of my mouth at any time, with no warning.
You've Got Mail is the i-ching.
You've Got Mail is the sum of all wisdom.
You've Got Mail is the answer to any question.
What should I get my best friend for her birthday: "...cheap books and legal addictive stimulants."
What is the most important relationship advice? "Never marry a man who lies."
And the answer to my evening entertainment is: You've Got Mail.
But first, for your listicle pleasure: My top ten most useful You've Got Mail quotes.
1. Whenever I am required to talk about coffee (which I don't drink.)
Tall! Decaf! Cappucino!
2. Any time I have no cash, which is always.
She has no cash? She has no cash! Get in another line, lady.
3. Whenever I have to talk about politics.
Is she republican? I ... can't help... myself.
4. Any time someone asks me to spell tweaking. What? It happens. I'm a teacher.
5. Whenever I am in a buffet line.
That caviar is a garnish!
6. Anytime people start talking about how good of a deal they got on something when someone else paid more. Why do people do that?
The joy of rent control. Six rooms. Four fifty a month!
7. Whenever people are bumming me out.
This place is a tomb! I'm going to the nut shop where it's fun.
8. Whenever I'm rummaging around for something.
Where are my tic-tacs?!
9. When I finish something.
On to the next! Taw! Taw!
10. Any time that I say the word report (It's a lot when you're a teacher)
Report - - as in gunshot!
And bonus: my favorite quote of all, which I have never been able to work into any conversation, any time, ever in the last 15 years, much to my dismay: "You know what's always fascinated me about Julius and Ethel Rosenberg is how old they looked when they were really just... our age."
Do you have a movie you can quote from start to finish, or are you a shusher?